penemuan teknologi komunikasi dari jaman bahula, indonesia memang paling top deh

-- Mexico :
An archaeologist in Mexico reported that when they dug the Aztec ruins, they found a mailbox after they dug for 300 meters deep. The Mexicans thought that they are the most advanced culture, as 500 years ago, the Aztecs have written mails for communication

-- Egypt:
A professor and his team did an excavation near the Sphinx. They found telephone cable at the depth of 200m. The Egyptians claimed that they have used the telephone technology since the era of king Tut, thus making them the most advanced race.

-- China :
After doing a thorough investigation at the Terracota warriors statues site, researchers found glass fibers in the area. The Chinese claimed that they are more advanced than the Egyptian, because they have known fiber optic technology ever since the Ming Dynasty

-- Indonesia :
The Bureau of Archeology in Magelang did a digging near Borobudur.
They dig for 100 meters, they found nothing
They dig for 500 meters, still nothing
They dig for 1000 meters, a whole lot of nothing

They claimed that Indonesians are the most advanced among all the nations in the world. Why ? Because they have been using wireless technology ever since Saylendra dynasty....He he he.....

salah yang mana ???

This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. The HelpDesk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for: "Termination without Cause." (I think he has a good case):

"Ridge Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"

"Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."

"What sort of trouble?"

"Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

"Went away?"

"They disappeared."

"Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"

"How do I tell?"

"Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"

"What's a sea-prompt?"

"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"

"There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"

"What's a monitor?"

"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV."

"Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"

"I don't know."

"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"

"Yes, I think so."

"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."

".......Yes, it is."

"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"

"No."

"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."

"....... Okay, here it is."

"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer."

"I can't reach it."

"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"

"No."

"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?" "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

"Dark?"

"Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

"Well, turn on the office light then."
"I can't."

"No? Why not?"

"Because there's a power failure."

"A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"

"Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."

"Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."

"Really? Is it that bad?"

"Yes, I'm afraid it is."

"Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"

"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

Seragam Kampus Belum Dibagikan, Anak lulusan SMA nyang katro banget

Andi adalah anak kampung yang diterima di salah satu perguruan tinggi negeri di kotanya.

Sejak dia berjalan dari area kampus hingga masuk kelas, dia biacara dalam hatinya "Kenapa ya orang-orang ini melihatku sambil senyum-senyum?"

Saat pelajaran mata kuliah pertama dimulai, Andi dipanggil oleh dosennya.


Dosen : "Heh! kau yang duduk di depan, kemari!!"

Andi : (Dengan agak gugup) "Ba..baik pak."

Dosen : "Kamu tau sekarang di sini sebagai apa?"

Andi : "Saya mengerti pak, disini saya sebagai mahasiswa."

Dosen : "Kalau kamu mengerti, kenapa kamu masih pakai seragam SMA?? atau kamu tidak punya pakaian yang lain?"

Andi : "Bukan begitu pak, saya pakai seragam SMA karena seragam dari kampus belum dibagikan pak."

Dosen dan Seluruh kelas : "wakakakaka... seragam kampus belum dibagikan??? !#$%##%%$.."

nenek licik, bahasa inggris

n older lady gets pulled over for speeding…
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
Officer: Don’t have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman:I can’t do that.
Officer:Why not?
Older Woman:I stole this car.
Officer:Stole it?
Older Woman:Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer:You what?
Older Woman:His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see
The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for
back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly
approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
Officer 2:Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman:Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2:One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered
the owner.
Older Woman:Murdered the owner?
Officer 2:Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
Officer 2:Is this your car, ma’am?
Older Woman:Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite
stunned.
Officer 2:One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to
the officer. The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2:Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t have a
license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner. Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding,too.
Don’t Mess With Old Ladies

Namanya Juga Usaha

Wakidjan begitu terpesonanya dengan permainan piano Nadine. Sambil bertepuk tangan, ia berteriak, “Not a play! Not a play!”

Nadine bengong. “Not a play?”

“Yes… Not a play… Bukan main.”

Tukidjo yang menemani Wakidjan terperangah. “Bukan main itu bukan not a play, Djan.”

“Your granny (Mbahmu). Humanly I have check my dictionary kok. (Orang saya sudah periksa di kamus kok)”

Lalu berpaling ke Nadine. “Lady, let’s corner (Mojok yuk). But don’t think that are nots (Jangan berpikir yang bukan-bukan) . I just want a meal together.”

“Ngaco kamu, Djan,” Tukidjo tambah gemes.

“Don’t be surplus (Jangan berlebihan), Djo. Be wrong a little is OK toch?”

Nadine cuman senyum kecil. “I would love to, but …”

“Sorry if my friend make you not delicious (Maaf kalau teman saya bikin kamu jadi nggak enak)”, sambut Wakidjan ramah, “Different river, maybe (Lain kali barangkali). I will not be various kok (Saya nggak akan macam-macam kok).”

Setelah Nadine pergi, Wakidjan menatap Tukidjo dengan sebal. “Disturbing aja sih, Djo. Does the language belong to your ancestor (Emang itu bahasa punya moyang lu)?”

Tukidjo cari kalimat penutup. “Just itchy Djan, because you speak English as delicious as your belly button.” (Gatel aja, Djan, soalnya kamu ngomong Inggris seenak udelmu dewe).

Wakidjan cuman bisa merutuk dalam hati, “His name is also effort.” (Namanya juga usaha)

Kejadian Di Rumah Sakit Yang Seram

JAKARTA - Percaya atau tidak, selama dua bulan terakhir ini sebuah rumah sakit di ibukota (nama dirahasiakan) mengalami kejadian aneh di ruang Perawatan Intensif (ICU). Selama enam minggu berturut-turut para pasien ditempat tidur pada kamar yang sama selalu meninggal pada Jumat pagi tanpa peduli umur, kelamin, kondisi mereka ataupun latar belakang kesehatannya. Hal ini sangat membingungkan para dokter. Beberapa orang bahkan berpikir bahwa hal ini ada hubungannya dengan supranatural karena hal tersebut selalu terjadi pada hari Jumat dan pada tempat tidur yang sama. Pimpinan Rumah Sakit tersebut segera membentuk tim untuk menyelidiki kasus tersebut sebelum akhir tahun. Lalu para dokter memutuskan untuk melibatkan beberapa ahli agama dan paranormal dalam tim ini.Kebetulan, salah satu anggota tim tersebut adalah sumber kami. Ditengarai, rumah sakit peninggalan Belanda tersebut telah disusupi >kekuatan gaib yang tidak bisa diatasi hanya dengan pengetahuan medis semata. "Sejak Kamis malam (malam Jum'at-red), seluruh anggota tim sudah berjaga dalam ruangan ICU." tutur ketua tim. Kami dan mungkin semua orang dirumah sakit ini merasa tegang. Namun kami tidak memberi tahu hal ini kepada pasien baru yang berada di tempat tidur tersebut.Beberapa dokter bahkan ikut membawa tasbih, Quran, Alkitab bahkan sebagian lagi memegang benda-benda suci lainnya untuk menangkal iblis. Sementara sang pasien masih terbaring di sana. Malam Jum'at tersebut ternyata berlalu mengecewakan bagi tim karena tidak terjadi hal apapun. Yang melegakan bagi tim adalah pasien tetap dalam kondisi semula, tidak ada tanda-tanda kondisinya memburuk. Melihat hal tersebut, ketua tim bermaksud untuk membubarkan tim. Namun, tepat jam 06.00 saat tim hendak bubar, tepat sebelum waktu keramat itu tiba, pintu ruangan terbuka perlahan. Segera cahaya terang masuk ke dalam ruang ICU..... Kemudian masuklah Tukiman, seorang part timer cleaning service untuk setiap hari Jumat ... Ia langsung mencabut peralatan untuk nafas bantuan dari stop kontaknya lalu menggantinya dengan vacuum cleaner dan mulai membersihkan ruangan....

selamat menikmati

Pegawai Baru

Andi gembira luar biasa karena setelah dua tahun menganggur akhirnya dia diterima bekerja disebuah perusahaan besar yang memiliki kantor gedung bertingkat.

Pada hari pertama bekerja, dia mendapat ruangan kantor yang lumayan nyaman dan karena kelewat senang dia langsung angkat telepon dan berniat meminta minuman.

Telepon : "Hallo......?"
Andi : " Hei....... antar kopi ke ruangan saya sekarang juga ya....!!!!"
Telepon : " Kurang ajar.....!! tahu dengan siapa anda bicara sekarang ini hah...!!!"
Andi : "Tidak...."
Telepon : "SAYA PRESIDEN DIREKTUR DI PERUSAHAAN INI.. TAHU......!!!"
Andi ternyata tidak kalah gertak dan membalas,
Andi : "Oh.. Ya....! tahu dengan siapa Bapak bicara sekarang ini ....?"
Telepon : "Tidak...!!"
Andi : "Syukurlah kalau begitu..." dan langsung menutup ganggang teleponnya.

Kalo si kecil Joni nelpon

Hari itu Mama mau nelpon Papa, tapi karena lupa mengisi pulsa, ponselnya nggak bisa nelpon keluar. Lalu dia menyuruh si kecil Joni nelpon ke ponsel Papanya pake telpon rumah supaya Papa menghubungi Mama.

Setelah menelpon, Joni menemui Mama dan bilang kalau tadi yang jawab bukan Papa tapi seorang wanita. Mama marah sekali, dan waktu Papa pulang langsung dia labrak sambil tidak lupa memberikan beberapa tamparan di pipinya.

Tetangga pada berdatangan mendengar keributan itu. Di depan semua orang Mama lalu meminta Joni menceritakan apa yang diucapkan wanita di ponselnya papa tadi.

Joni bilang, "Nomor yang anda hubungi sedang tidak aktif, atau berada di luar area. Silahkan menghubungi kembali........"